


Tis the Season to be Dreadful

by jessellacx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Car Accident, Christmas, Flashbacks, M/M, Minor Character Death, One Shot, based on the past, brief smut scene, well technically he was already dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 15:27:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2855831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessellacx/pseuds/jessellacx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis doesn't like the holidays anymore it was all because of a curly, green eyed boy named Harry Styles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tis the Season to be Dreadful

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a one-shot. I really hope you like it. This first started off to be based on How the Grinch Stole Christmas but then I got a new idea while writing the beginning.

It was that time of year again. You can hear the laughter of every kid running through the store. Their yells of “Mom, I want this. Hope Santa gets me this, this year.” The glow of the small lights hanging from the walls throughout the store. The elf ears perk on every employee except for one of course.

 

Louis hated, loathed the holidays. It always made him despised every single person in the planet. Not because he wanted to, he had his reasons. Reasons he wants to forever forget, reasons that made him unable to breath at night sometimes. But working in a store filled with toys during this time of year was something he didn’t want. Parents were hassling around to write down what their kids wanted. Getting one parent to actually buy the present while the other distracted their kids. He wants to home under his blankets counting down the days for this dreadful holiday to pass by.

 

Louis puts on a faux smile when he realizes someone is speaking to him. He drops his hand from the small piano. He internally curses the person who interrupt his peacefulness.

 

“How may I help you?” He politely asks before he even turns around. It’s part of the job, if it was up for him, he’ll ignore the person. He needs to keep this job. It’s been the only thing to keep himself occupied from his thoughts.

 

"Yes, sir. I would like to know when exactly are you off?" The raven haired boy said in a flirtatious girly voice. Louis rolls his eyes at him. Zayn starts to laugh, Louis couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

 

"At this second, actually." Louis looks down at his watch. Glad, but sad somehow that he needs to leave. The store would be close for the holiday season won’t open until next year. He laughs to himself. He couldn’t believe these parents were actually stupid enough to wait until the very last minute to get christmas presents.

 

Louis didn't wait any longer, he quickly went to check himself out. With a final wave and fake smile to the manager he was out of the door. Zayn right behind him.

 

The air was crisp and chilly. They could see their breaths form into fog right before them. Snow drifting down slowly. The sleet of snow covering the sidewalk. Their feet slipping occasionally on the ice. Laughing as they almost fall down, bumping into the hassling people.

 

Louis stuffed his hand in his large jacket. The warmth was something he needs right now. The memories not so much. His hands balled up in the pockets. He willed himself not to cry. He couldn't cry here in the middle of a busy street. He can't cry in front of his best mate. If Louis start crying then Zayn would start crying as well. They didn’t need to have two grown men crying in the middle of a busy street.

 

Louis cringes as he hears the Christmas carols. The ringing of the bells. The plain happiness radiating off from everyone. He desperately wants to be home, but knowing Zayn he won't be there until it's late and beyond exhausted to think about his day.

 

"Come on,Lou." Louis bites back his gathering tears. The song they started to sing was just too painful to hear.

 

"Please, Zayn, don't call me that. You know this by now." Louis brokenly whispers out. His eyes shutting tight.

 

"Louis, you need to learn to deal with it. It's been-"

 

Louis interrupts Zayn, his hand gripping onto Zayn's jacket. His eyes burning with sadness. He pulls Zayn down until they're face to face. "Don't you dare tell me to deal with it! I'm not you! Zaynie." His bottom lip wobbles as his ears finally catch the lyrics.

 

Zayn's eyes narrows down at him. Zayn understood what Louis was going through. It still haunts him to this day but Louis' got it worse from the two. Zayn at least could find a way to see him while Louis couldn't. Zayn feels Louis' had enough time to get over it, make new memories out of the holidays. But Louis. Louis didn't want to. Louis would never get over what happen, he doesn’t want to. Than he realize the song they were singing. His brown eyes widen. Without a second thought, he picks Louis up.

 

Louis starts crying. His face pressed against Zayn’s chest. Some people passing give Zayn a look of disgust while others give him a look of concern. Zayn simply shrug his shoulders. He pushes himself through the crowd trying to calm Louis down. It was useless. Nothing could calm Louis down when he got like this.

 

Louis wasn’t having it, his body racked with sobs. His body shook, his breaths were coming in hard and labored. His tears slipped into his mouth as he gasps in breaths. He was choking on his own saliva and tears. He mumbled incoherent sentences the best he could. Those lyrics were mocking him. Bouncing off inside his head, filling every single thought. He tried to think of how his body was going up and down along with Zayn’s movements. How the people caroling has stopped once they noticed Louis’ sobs, but he couldn’t.

 

All he could hear was his baby’s voice. His voice whispering those lyrics in his ears. Whispering how much he loved him so much. The way his voice got raspier every time he sang.  His green eyes and bright smile. Louis couldn’t breathe. He hold on tighter to Zayn’s sweater. He needed something to hold onto, he needed to reassurance he’s still on earth before he slipped back. With the humming of his boy’s voice in his ears and Zayn’s concern voice, Louis slipped back into the past.

 

…

 

“Happy birthday Lou.” Harry whisper against the shell of Louis’ ear. Louis just hide his smile, tucking himself more into Harry’s naked body. His body was sore from the nights events. His boyfriend had promise him anything he wanted to do before his birthday. Seeing as he wanted to fuck and be fucked by his boyfriend, he was content by it.

 

Harry pushed himself up from his spot from the bed. He pressed a small kissed on Louis’ cute button nose. Louis giggle out in pure happiness, his birthday just started and it was the best he had so far. Louis knows Harry’s going to give him his birthday present soon. It became a tradition for them.  It all started when Louis walked into Harry preparing for Louis’ birthday from there it just sorta happen.

 

They had stopped fucking two hours before 12, Louis wanted Harry to be well rested. Louis perks himself up when he hears the bathroom door open. His boxers were constricting already from the thought of what he's about to see.

 

Harry leaned his back against the doorframe. One leg up to support himself. His hands losing the bow covering his front. The material over his torso the now ending right at his crotch. Santa's hat perk on top of his head. His fingers running up and down his cock. His mouth opening slowly, with little gasps and moans. Harry was imagining Louis' hands all over him.

 

Louis' tongue ran over his lips. He couldn't help letting out a loud moan. Harry touching himself always made him get harder. He felt his cock leaking out precome. His hand went down to palm himself. He lets out a small gasp from the contact.

 

Harry's eyes flick open. A smirk tugging at the end of his lips. His forefinger out to signal Louis' to come closer. Louis couldn't move. Harry was slowly making his way over to him. Humming the song he sang every time.

 

Harry grabbed Louis' foot being him closer to the edge of the bed. Louis leaned himself back on his arms. Harry's hand went to pulled the strands of the bow.

 

"No. I want to fuck you with it on." Louis raspy voiced out, stopping Harry from continuing.

 

Harry's lustful eyes widen even more. A small blush forming on his cheeks. He shly moved the bow to the side revealing what he was wearing underneath. Louis let out a throaty groan.

 

The head of Harry's dick sticking out of his red lace panties. The tip red, leaking out precome. Harry shudder from the air hitting his expose cock.

 

Louis reach forward, his hand latching onto Harry's waist pulling him closer. His fingertips grazing over the lace panties. The material rough against his skin. Slowly he trail his fingers up to the tip. Spreading the precome around.

 

Harry lets out a startled gasp. His hands go flying to hold onto Louis' hair.

 

"You going to ride me, baby. While wearing these." Louis grabs a handful of Harry's ass. Louis pulls Harry towards him never once losing his grip on Harry's ass.

 

Harry stumbles forward, almost falling on top of Louis. He manages to catch himself before he could crush the shorter man. Louis hold onto Harry not wanting to let go. They may be horny but he wants to make this special. He always has to make it special.

 

Harry's hand slip down between them toying with Louis' boxers. He had no idea when Louis had put them on but he wanted them off. He palmed him a couple of times wanting to hear the older man moan from the contact. He pulls the boxers down, throwing them somewhere across the room.

 

Harry straddles his boyfriend who manages to sit up straighter. Harry's arms go around Louis' neck. The tip of Louis' cock ghosting over Harry's entrance. The precome dripping on him, making the tip move. Harry moans from the unintentional teasing. Louis' hand coming to rest at the back of his head, bringing him closer to him.

 

Their breaths were heavy, syncing as one. Louis' arms wrapped around Harry's waist holding him impossibly close. Not one sheet of paper could be slip between them. Their faces were close together, their mouths brushed against one another. They kiss briefly, Harry ending it by pulling Louis' bottom lip between his teeth.

 

This position was intimate. They were close enough to hear every moan, gasp the other emitted. They could only hear one another. Harry's mouth close to the shell of Louis' ear. Breathing heavily against it. Before they could start, Harry starting to sing the song. The words from Santa Baby slipping out of his mouth as he slowly sink down on Louis' cock.

 

...

 

Louis woke up in a place he didn't know. The room was dark. He felt a warm body next to him. He knows he can't be home, no one's there for him. He never wakes up to someone next to him. He always wakes up cold never this warm.

 

Louis feels the person next to him move. He holds his breath. His heart starts to speed up. He can’t remember where he was. He doesn’t seem to remember getting drunk earlier in the day. He would never bring someone home, he never do that. He only gets piss drunk so he can forget the memories. Then it hits him, he doesn’t want to be here. This is the last place where he wants to be. A weight comes down to him. The tears start to gather again. The person next to him starts to shift around.

 

“Tommo, you got to calm down.” Niall murmurs out, he does something Louis doesn’t want him to do, cuddle him. Louis lets him, he wants to remember how it feels to have someone holding him. After all these time he hasn’t let any of the other lads cuddle him.

 

The tears start to fall down his face. He needed air to breath, he needed to get out of here. Louis slowly starts to slip away from the bed. Niall understands, right? He sure as god he hopes Niall does. Niall’s arms let him go, even through the dark Louis could feel his sympathetic eyes on him. Louis shakes his head, he wipes away at the fallen tears.

 

“Tommo, it’s time to forget.” Niall whispers out. Louis didn’t want to forget. He doesn’t want to forget the only person he could ever love. Telling him to forget was the same as telling Zayn to lose hope.

 

“I can’t. Harry was the best thing that has happened to me. I can’t forget him.” Louis whispers out, he cuddle himself closer Niall. He breathes Niall’s scent in, not as fulfilling as Harry’s smell. Louis needs Harry with him, but that can’t happen. Harry’s gone.

 

Louis lets the tears fall down his face. His body shakes hearing Niall’s whisper of the time. He wants to sleep the rest of the day away, wants nothing more to forget today. But he lost someone special on the day of his birthday. Not only on his birthday but on the beginning of the Christmas day. It was all his fault. He should have waited, if he waited until the next day Harry will still be here, cuddling with him.

 

Louis wouldn’t feel guilty everytime he came to visit his friends. He wouldn’t feel a weight come down his chest. Louis didn’t take all the blame, he wanted it to blame it on someone else. The only other person was Liam. Liam who was on the scene when Harry died. Liam could had found a way to save Harry. Liam could have done something. Louis didn’t speak to Liam after months, almost the full year. But it wasn’t like Liam could talk back anyways.

 

“Happy Birthday, Louis.”

 

…

 

This is the perfect time for him to go on with his plan. He was determine, he was impatient. He can’t wait any longer, he can’t wait until tomorrow evening. He needs to do it today. Louis got himself dressed he needed this to be perfect. He asked for his friend’s help of course he did. They were excited to help him out. Louis shrugged on his jacket, patting his pockets to make sure Harry’s present was right there.

 

Harry was out with Liam, on a small last minute Christmas shopping on Liam’s part. Liam came up with the idea to take Harry out for Louis can easily get everything ready. When the time was right they would be heading towards the park, where the big Christmas tree would be at, Louis would be there waiting.

Louis lets out a deep sigh, he was ready for this. This is a big step for them, a huge step but they’re ready. They been ready for this moment since they talked about how they see their future as a couple. The flashes of houses, children running around the backyard goes through Louis’ head. No matter how he imagines it, he sees himself with Harry. No one else but him. Just the thought of a future together has a crinkly eye smile plastered across his face.

 

“What you smiling about, Tommo?” Niall says, pulling Louis out of his daydreams. Louis gives him a knowing look, the look that the boys had started to call “Harry’s look”. That look was always on Louis’ face when he just looks at Harry or even thinks about him.

 

“Thinking about mine and Harry’s future together.” Louis replies, the smile still etch on his face. His hands finding their way to check his pockets.

 

“That’s if he says yes.” Niall points out, but he tilts his head to the side, “Now let’s go.”

 

Louis kept checking his pockets the whole time they were walking. Zayn was at the tree already having set everything up. Zayn was more excited than Louis was, that’s because Zayn was happy Louis found someone to make him happy, someone that made him settle down.

 

The snow was starting to fall again, it’s been going on and off throughout the day. It seem they were going to have a white Christmas this year, something the boys wanted to have for a long time. It be like their first Christmas together when they all decided to become friends. Louis sent a small prayer to all the gods, mostly to the god that controlled the weather. He wanted the snow to be falling once he wanted to pop the question for Harry.

 

Louis’ body was shaking not from the cold but from excitement. He had been thinking about this moment since he woke up one morning before Harry. He watched how Harry’s chest rose and fell with ease. The small snores slipping out his lips, a little bit of drool on the corner of his lips. He knew from that moment he wanted nothing more to wake up next to the drooling man next to him. He wanted to be next to him for the rest of his life.

 

Louis felt a pain in his chest, he didn’t understand why. His heart was hammering against his chest. The pain travel throughout his body. He could feel his pulse on the top of his fingers.

 

Louis couldn't shake say the feeling off. He felt something horrible is about to happen. He felt a shiver go through his body. He felt his phone buzz against his thigh.

 

"Lou?" Niall tugs on Louis' jacket sleeve. Louis' blue eyes widen when he notice where Niall's pointing at. The blue and red lights flash against his face.

 

They weren't far from the location they needed to be. They ran the last few feet. Louis' legs away underneath him, he falls down to the gathering snow. He pulls Niall down with him. He couldn't breath. He couldn't scream. All he could do was let the tears fall down, letting out soundless sobs.

 

…

 

Louis sat in his bed, holding on the last present Harry had gotten. He had put on Harry’s jumper as well, wanting to smell like him, but the jumper doesn’t hold the scent that only belongs to Harry.

 

Louis had left the apartment the moment he had waken up. He slipped through his friends home, tiptoeing past Zayn who was in the kitchen silently crying. Louis wanted to reach out to hold him, cry along with Zayn. Today was going to be painful for both of them. It’s been three years since the accident but the memories are still fresh in their minds. Zayn needed to live with the constant reminder. Louis had rush out of the home when he heard the dinging of the bell.

 

His thumb went down to his ring finger, toying with the band that was on there. His other hand was clutching tightly onto the present. His birthday was almost over. The time when it had happen was creeping closer. Louis knows he has to do something before he goes on the roof.

 

Through the window snow was falling down gently, just like the day it happened. Louis made himself promise he wouldn’t read the card until he felt it was the right time. He did, no matter how much Harry’s death was still painful to him, he was ready. The promise was to read it after three long years. Today was the day. He wasn’t going to read it just yet, he needed to do something before he does. With a sigh, he gets up from his bed.

 

..

 

The door opens after Louis knocked three times, he could have just walked in but he felt it was necessary to knock. His blue eyes were soft when he made contact with hazel ones. Louis stepped forward to hug him. They hold onto each other for minutes. Zayn’s tears falling on Louis’ shirt. Louis was holding back his tears, he needed them for later. The letter was burning a hole in his jacket’s pocket.

 

“I came to speak with him, Zayn.” Louis whisper against Zayn’s shoulder. Zayn nodded pulling away from the hug. He wiped away the tears lingering on his face.

 

Zayn steps out if the way, he holds his arm out to point towards the direction Louis needs to go. Louis pats Zayn one more time in the back.

 

Louis took a deep stead breath. His hand hovering over the door knob. He can do this, he has to get it over with. It's time, he chants in his head. With a final deep breath, he opens the door.

 

Laying in the bed facing the door was Liam. The room like always was spotless. Liam was sitting up. The blankets covering his bottom half. Liam perked up when he saw Louis standing at his door.

 

Liam couldn't believe Louis was here. Louis hasn't talked to him since the dreadful accident. Liam knew Louis blame him for it, he felt that he should take the blame.

 

Louis stepped forward to stand next to Liam. He patted Liam's leg, his hand smoothing over the bunch up blanket. Louis took Liam's hand in his.

 

Brown eyes look over Louis, trying to figure him out. Louis sighed. He looked into Liam’s eyes ready to spill what he’s been thinking over the past years.

 

“Liam. I don't blame you. I blame myself.” Louis begins only to have Liam scrunch up his eyebrows in confusion. Liam open his mouth to let words out but none did. “I put the blame on you for god knows why. I wanted to blame it on someone rather than myself. You were hurt, took it easy for me to put the blame on you.

 

“I didn't speak to you for one reason. You were alive and Harry’s dead. Harry could have been here with me if I wasn’t so impatient. If I had waited to propose to him on Christmas day like I had planned, you wouldn’t be in this bed. You would be talking and not use the stupid wheelchair.” Liam squeezed Louis’ hand, Liam was silently crying. Liam looked away from Louis, his free hand scrubbing away the fallen tears.

 

“Liam, look at me.” Louis hand went up to hold Liam’s face. Their eyes met. Both gleaming with sadness and reassurance. After all this time Liam never once hated Louis, he understand what Louis was feeling after all the time.

 

“Liam, don’t keep at this. I know you can talk, let it go for me, yeah. It wasn’t your fault. Don’t do this to Zayn. He loves so much, he needs to hear your voice. I won’t be able to hear Harry’s but at least Zayn still got you here.” Louis tears started to fall down.

 

Liam never spoke after the accident. The shock went away but realizing his best mate was gone he couldn’t come to terms with it. Liam held back his voice afraid once he spoken out, it make it true. But seeing Louis here, speaking freely about Harry’s death, he could come to terms with it. Liam nodded his head at Louis’ words. He open his mouth to utter his first words from the three years of silence.

 

Louis hand came up to cover Liam’s mouth, “I think Zayn should be the first to hear you speak. He’s been dying to hear that awful voice of yours.”

 

Louis called out for Zayn, which much to his dismay was standing at the door. Tears falling down his face. Zayn reached forward to hug Louis, but Louis decline pointing towards Liam.

Louis watched from the doorway how they kissed each other, how Liam croak out hoarsely how much he loved Zayn. This was how it should have been three years ago, not now after so much neglect on Louis’ part.

 

Louis reached inside his coat pocket, pulling out the single red rose and the note card attach to it. He wiped away the tears, he looked down determinedly at the note. He was going to read through it, no matter how much he wants to cry when he sees Harry’s messy penmanship.

 

…

 

Louis pushed Niall away from him. He wanted to get close, but Niall wouldn’t let him go. He wanted to get close to his boyfriend, soon to be fiance. Louis couldn’t get nearer the paramedics were trying to revive him. But Louis couldn’t see the flutter of Harry’s chest. The pain he felt earlier was because of Harry. They’re connected in every way possible/

 

They say if your love one is ever hurt, you can feel it in your heart. You get the feeling something is wrong. That’s what Louis felt moments before. He felt devastating heartbroken. His heart was aching, he wanted to feel Harry’s warm skin against his. He needed to know that Harry is still alive.

 

Inches away from where Harry laid motionless in the snow, inches from Harry’s outstretched hand was a single rose. There was blood drops surrounding it. The rose was still as beautiful when Harry first bought it.

 

Louis watched as the paramedics draped a black sheet over Harry. The moment went painfully slow for Louis. Through his tears, he watched. Harry’s long hair sprawled out around like a halo. The lights from the Christmas tree and the police lights flash across Harry’s frozen face. His eyes once bright and full of life were pale green. His face wasn’t covered in blood like his body. His face was left unclean. His mouth was wide open in a frighten motion. He couldn’t step out of the way even if he tried, it was far too late.

 

Harry risked his life to save another. He saved Liam’s life. He pushed try to push Liam out of the way but Harry ended up getting the more impact. Harry the happy lad died from a weather accident. The snow was to be blame. The beautiful, elegant falling white snow was the blame for a young man’s life.

 

Louis couldn’t breath, he cried out for Harry. He screamed for them to bring him back to life. He thrashed away from Niall’s body only to be stopped inches away from Harry. He begged for him to let him hold Harry one fallen time. Louis wanted to give him one final kiss before they took him. The paramedics felt bad for him, they noticed the small black box in Louis’ hand. They let Louis hold onto Harry one final time.

 

Louis kissed Harry’s cold, chapped lips, wanting him to come back alive. He wanted it to be like the fairy tales, but this is real life. Where you are only given one life to live, only given one chance for happiness. Life where death was around the corner. His tears fell down into their connected mouths. He whisper against Harry’s lips. He whisper out how much he loves Harry. Louis whisper out painfully his proposal speech. All anyone could do was watch with sad eyes. No one dare pull Louis away from Harry.

 

“I have been in love with you since I first met you. I knew from the start that you would be the one for me. I don’t see a future without you next to me. As I kneel here before you, Harry, would you do the honors of marrying me?” Louis cried out. He wouldn’t get a response from Harry now. He pulled the ring out of the box, holding it up before him.

 

The ring shine from the different lights flashing on it. Louis slipped the ring on his finger, never wanting to take it off. He was married to Harry not through a marriage licence but with their souls. He could feel the engraving of the ring burn against his skin.

 

A hand came through his vision. A single rose and white card in it’s hand. Louis reached out to snatch it out of the person’s hand. Bringing the only piece given from Harry’s heart to his.

 

…

  
  


The cold wind hits Louis. The snow falling lands in his hair. He looks out towards the distance. He could see the lights from the same Christmas tree where Harry had died, It was exactly at midnight. Louis had ended his birthday and started Christmas with Harry’s death. It never has been the same since that, it would never be.

 

Louis looked down in his hands were the rose and note. The rose never has once lost it’s beauty. Louis was torn to throw over the roof’s edge. Not wanting to read the contents inside. But with a shaky breath he opens the card open. Inside was Harry’s neat but messy handwriting.

 

_Merry Christmas Lou!_

_I know I have your present but I have so much to say. I knew from the moment our eyes meet we were going to be together forever. I called it fate that lead me to you. You reading this means I have given you the rose. I can imagine your face looking confusedly at me and the rose. You see I’m going to love until the rose wilts away. Until then you are forever more stuck with me, Lou. I love you so much it hurts._

_Always in your heart, yours sincerely_

_Harry Tomlinson (You should really find a better hiding spot for the ring ;) the answer to your question is YES I WILL MARRY YOU!)_

The tears were falling down his cheeks blurring out the last bit of the note. He couldn’t believe Harry knew about the ring. He started to smile. He began to sob out from joy and sadness. He finally gotten the answer to his question. He thought back to the moment he knew Harry had found the ring. No wonder Harry started to say he couldn’t wait for the moment they day “I do” and he can change his last name. He started to cry even more when he noticed the way Harry had ended the note. Harry has seen the ring, he seen the engravement.

 

“Always in my heart, Harry Styles, always in my heart no matter how much time pass. You will forever be in my heart. Yours sincerely Louis Tomlinson.” Louis whisper out to the wind. He wishes the wind would take his words to wherever Harry’s at. Louis looked down at the rose kissing the red petals.

  
The rose would stay everlasting red. The ring would forever more show the significance that they are engaged.  The note and the engraving in the ring is proof enough for how much their love for each other were. The everlasting rose will stay forever just the same as Louis and Harry’s love for one another. 


End file.
